Shhhh...Cancer is Sleeping

Last evening, was so beautiful; so still. Living in the mountains, there is almost always movement; a soft breeze, a bird's song, or a herd of elk wandering through our yard.

But last night was calm; so calm that I was able to capture the stillness, by photographing our perpetually spinning yard art; at a complete halt. They were just, so still.

Still,  is how I imagine my chronic mylogenous leukemia.

Still, is how I pray it will stay.

Seven plus years ago, when I was first diagnosed with CML, there were hundreds of thousands of cancer cells, running rampant through my bloodstream; today, because of science and research, those cancer cells have been reduced significantly, and prayerfully will remain suppressed, or still, in my body.

Many do not understand what living with chronic cancer really means, as people often say, "Oh! I thought that you were cured! You STILL have leukemia?" Many assume that because I am still around, that I have been cured, that I have rung the bell and that my treatment is over, and I have gotten on with my life; cancer free.

With chronic myelogenous leukemia, that is not the case; the fact of the matter is, that nearly all CML patients will be on treatment, the rest of their lives. This treatment means that we will likely be around for quite some time, but it also means that we must learn to live with the side effects of our very expensive medication and the unknown and unpredictable behaviour of a blood cancer.

Our blood is tested every three months; we wait on pins and needles for the results. We pray that our cancer will remain still.

And we go out and live our lives to the best of our ability, and thank God every day for the opportunity to do so.

Be grateful for the still moments; they are precious in their simplicity.